A year after I moved into 51 First Avenue, in the East Village, Derreck Alexander was hired at Brickman's ACE Hardware, next door. Derreck is six-foot four, and about 195 pounds. He played basketball, football and baseball, competitively. He had a college basketball scholarship. During 1998, I needed help getting a large painting upstairs. He offered to help. He refused to take the $20 tip I wanted to give him. Then, one evening, when I was coming home from my Senior Designer job at Practising Law Institute, he planted himself in front of me, and said "Hello."
There was no talking or thinking.
Derreck was my type.
More than anything else, I am a Dancer-Athlete, and always physically fit. That fact is being asserted, because my body has been lied about through slanderous jokes and even criminal bullying, since making Art from 1998 - 2012, without people protecting me, in the Pro Sports World. I have worn a Small or Petite my entire life, (never a medium). Relative to sports-entertainment people — who have billions of dollars and many people taking care of their bodies — while psychotically slandering and bullying me — I am an Olympic Gold Medalist and in better shape than any of those liars. I do it on my own, without wealth, and even without my own home — which I lost six years ago due to their ugly, insecure aggression. Through all of that, I have stayed in great shape into my 50s.
A talented male athlete, who is also smart, but not in an overly analytical way, is my type. He also has to be able to commit to a faithful relationship.
Do not judge a book by its cover. My personal life has been conservative compared to most men and women in sports, entertainment, the arts, and business. I never judge men and women who party, as long they are not abusive to others. I support civil and marriage rights for all. However, I do not enjoy wildness. I enjoy a one-to-one, committed relationship. I am only responsive to biologically born men. I know who I am. Strangers do not know. (If they think they know, they are simply delusional).
Derreck was a tall, powerful, confident Man (but not a bully or trying to be "tricky," a sign of insecurity). He strode directly up to me and stopped me in front of ACE Hardware in 1998. We were together, right away. Chemistry is chemistry.
Derreck moved in at the beginning of 1999. We both worked full-time and shared the expenses. Derreck fully supported me drawing and painting at men's pro sports games, and never once had a paranoid thought about me. I went to games, made art, and went home to him. Likewise, Derreck often played basketball at Soul in the Hole in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn, and I never worried about his female fans, who often asked him: "Are you still with that white girl?" He always came right home.
Derreck and I lived together from 1999 - 2011. We were entirely faithful to one another. Despite racist and anti-semitic stereotypes that we continue to face, neither of us "partied." Neither of us were wild. We were only with one another.
During those twelve years, I was pregnant, more than once. I love children. Children also love art and have a natural rapport with artists. All children are wonderful artists, too, before their "right brain" is suppressed by the linear, left-brain world. When I was drawing at Yankee Games, young boys and girls often stood around me to watch. That was my favorite part of it.
That is my sonogram, above. Derreck impregnated me while I was using birth control. I have an unusually high degree of feminine fertility, and slow aging runs in my family. Normal birth control did not work. We had to use multiple types of birth control simultaneously. I would love a son or daughter unconditionally. Derreck is also wonderful with children. We were treated abusively in a number of ways, and I was misled, while I
I am also a child sexual assault survivor. While I do not suffer from other symptoms, surgical procedures to one's reproductive organs are a symptom of child sexual assault. However, I am otherwise healthy and resilient. If I had had just a small amount of the proper support and counseling while pregnant, I would be a mother, right now. My pregnancies ended with early terminations, which saddened me a great deal. That is something I would never do again. Except to save the mother's life, I am only pro-choice before the embryo becomes a fetus. Additionally, the morning after pill should be free to every woman and girl. That program should be federally funded. Alternatives to abortion, and proper counseling for survivors of child sexual abuse, should also be funded and required by law.
As mentioned, slow aging runs in the family. I continued to menstruate regulary into my 50s. However, due to hardship, stress and several years of low body fat and over-exercising, I suddenly stopped menstruating at the end of 2017. I have never had a sign of menopause. The good news is, there are now a number of successful ways to reverse menopause, and even have one's own child.
Women age differently.
My mother did not start pre-menopause until 56. The women in my family are high estrogen and low testoterone. We are on the feminine side of the hormonal spectrum. Any sports-entertainment or militant slander about my gender-identity is just that: childish slander. Mean-girls should be called "doggy mean-girls." They are not cats. They are rabidly aggressive. They are rabid dogs.
In fact, I am unusually feminine, (not masculine).
Facts are facts in a court of law.
As a highly regarded OBYGYN told me, who could testify under oath: I am in the "top one percent of all women in terms of my female fertility and feminine response." I believe that I am a good candidate for treatment to restart ovulation. In my late 40s my FSH was that of a much younger women, and my own eggs were still healthy. I did not need any sort of assistance to get pregnant with my own eggs, even in my late 40s, and into my 50s.
All Visual Art, Direction, Design and words on this site, are by Jane Rubin.
No templates or copied frameworks have been used. The focus of this site is
the original paintings and drawings of Jane Rubin, not interactive gimmicks.
This is custom visual design and code. The responsive display and image
optimization are currently being refined for all screen resolutions.