Bud Rubin was overly self-effacing. He would not want me to commemorate him on my website. He did not even want a memorial service. Here is my response: "Dad, you raised me to make my own decisions. I am not listening to you on this. I am commemorating you on this site and in visual art and music, and Clarinetist Buddy Rubin is one of the stars."

My sisters and I were so lucky to have been raised by Harry Jay Rubin — and by our grandfather before he died in 1970. They were respected for their compassion, courage and honesty. There was no patriarchy in our family — just equality.

Bud Rubin was a sensitive musician with professional-level talent — he was also a cerebral attorney — he was also virile and athletic. People wanted him to perform musically more often. He was too humble — and he was multiply gifted — which can cause some internal conflict.

My Dad was not rich — he was middle-class — but his nurturing, core values, and beautiful musical soul — were priceless.